Another half day!

Had a hectic morning trying like hell to get some sort of internet connection going on in the office, when, at about 9am, only just over an hour since we got to work, the site manager knocked on the door to inform me that the site was closing as of 10 o’clock due to a fatality the previous afternoon. Having found Harry and packed up and got the fuck out of dodge before the police arrived, it turns out that it had been late evening when one the guys fell off a ladder and led there and bled out while absolutely nobody noticed that he had gone. While this was being discussed, it emerged that at some other point in time, two blokes had been beating the shit out of each other with lengths of scaffold pole and one of them had fifty odd stitches to put his skull back together. So i am back in my hotel room typing this and generally doing homework until the internet connection gives out. I will try and post some piccies from the hotel, but they take 36 hours to upload!

Natty new uniform

Spent yesterday in bloody Singapore again, but also spent some time in the Creative building, owned by the makers of computer audio equipment of the highest order. Test drove their totally kicking 7.1 speaker system and fuck me it kicked out some. Will get one on pay day, no mistake. Today moved onto my new hotel suite complete with kitchen and living room and two balconies overlooking the sea to Singapore. Got to said room and it turned out to be a single room overlooking the high level assault course. No matter, things will sort themselves out over the next coupla days. I am too tired and sweaty to care. Here is me in my new getup from Sing looking like an overeating doozer. Looking as sexy as one man may dare to. Speak to you all soon.

 

J

 

Nothing like Fear and Loathing

This week has been tricky. Monday had loads planned, but achieved nothing at all when the driver decided he was too sick. Harry was in Singapore in meetings. The next morning I was doing the driver's job of tending to Harry's beck and call. Luckily, I love driving, so it wasn't too arduous. When the end of the day swung around, I really fancied a beer, so got in, cracked open a bottle and sat on the porch. Now I have been without running water for ages, and I stunk, it was hot, sweaty and generally shit. I decided to go across the road and get a poolside suite at the Harris Resort opposite, as we had a corporate rate there. A bath has never felt so good. After a bath, I ordered a beer and went for a swim. Hit the bar afterwards and totally humiliated myself doing karaoke, then shuffled off to bed, falling over at some point as I now have a huge gash on my knee. The next day I was determined to sort out the water at the house. To do this I had to contact a mutual friend of mine and the landlords. Unfortunately, he is a bit of a pisshead. I turned up at the restaurant he was at, to have a cold beer thrust into my hand. The day went downhill from there. Needless to say I got hammered, and the following day, cursed myself and prayed for death. This was Thursday, and I had eaten nothing since Tuesday morning. I took another room at the Harris, and tried to sleep it off. Now, as I faded in and out of consciousness I kept having this semi-nightmare that I was being attacked by bloody great black lizards. They kept biting my hands, but they didn't really hurt. Really weird as it kept happening every time I dozed off. Anyway, next morning, was out and about working, and had to go back to the house, and fuck me if there wasn't one of these bloody great lizards at the side of the road staring at me. Scared the bijesus out of me. Malicious looking bastard I tried getting a picture of him, but he gave me a scornful look and buggered off.

Never drinking again.

Not exactly paradise

As I am now living in the new house on the other side of the island, I have had to get some essentials. Have fitted out the kitchen with fridge, microwave, burners, rice cooker, ummm etc. Have set up my media desktop in the master bedroom, and television an DVD player downstairs in the corner. Downstairs is an office of sorts. The house is pretty huge, but only a few rooms Downstairs has one gigantic room, which is doing the job of office, a side room which is generally filled with junk I haven't found a home for yet. At the back is the kitchen, toilet, shower and maids bedroom. Upstairs just the spare bedroom and the master bedroom and ensuite. It is huge. I have had smaller studio flats. Now unfortunately there are some bummers. Have two phone lines, but no internet. Have electricity, most of the time. It tends to be off for three hours in the morning, and when it is on, I have to be careful how many electrical items I have switched on, or the fuse blows. I had a cleaner here the day before yesterday who cleaned the kitchen and did all the washing up etc. Ever since then however, I seem to have no mains water. Even if I did have mains water, the water heater in my ensuite has a leak and therefore pisses water everywhere.
I have been shopping for food, and with no break with tradition, bought nothing fucking useful in the slightest. I haven't eaten this badly since Sussex Lodge! Some of you know exactly what I mean. Yesterday I had rice with ketchup, and this evening I had rice and baked beans. Have no idea where the local shop is, so just been coping. Tomorrow, however, I will get some decent grub. Another issue arises from not being able to wash up, due to the lack of water thing. So far I have been doing my best with tissues! Other downer is that this is a non-smoking house, so have to go and sit on the porch to have a smoke. I would like to think that it is helping me cut down, but sadly it just means that I am sat out on the porch like a fucking hick! Still, shit happens.

Laters.

Bored

Cannot sleep because it appears that I have a snoring sheep outside my
window. Wish I could work out what the hell it is. I have told you what it
sounds like, but unless the fluffy bugger has made it onto the roof, it has
to be something a little less ovine. Must be some sort of lizard. They all
make weird noises. When I was in Bondowoso all those years ago, I was warned
to listen out for the 'fuck off' lizard! Of course I had no idea what they
were going on about, until sat on the porch with a beer one evening, you
could clearly hear what sounded like a mechanical voice saying 'fuck off,
fuck off' and that was a tiny little lizarddy fella.

Funny if a sheep fell through the ceiling while I was typing. I think I
would be too embarassed to type about it, even if it did.

Right I am going to go and make myself a sarnie and try harder to get some
sleep.

Goodnight folks

New house

After a hell of a lot of faffing about and a torrential downpour, I have
moved out of the apartment complex. At this moment I am in a huge house on
the other side of the island. Downside is that it is not exactly the fuckin
ritz. It hasn't been lived in for some time, so it is pretty dirty. Have put
a kitchen in and a couple of water dispensers, and now it is just a case of
getting the place cleaned up. There is a maid's quarters downstairs, so
might have to go and get one of them.
Also, if I haven't mentioned it thus far, despite being about thirty miles
of the line of the equator, I have managed to catch a fucking cold. Now
ain't that about a bitch!
I have some sort of job interview early next week, so everyone keep their
fingers crossed for me. It is basically just a data entry job onsite at a
construction yard, but is worth $200 a day. Not the hugest salary in the
world, but about three times what the restaurant was paying me. All I need
to do is become fluent in gas and oil construction lingo. No problem. I know
my FSO's from my FPSO's and my ITR from my MDR so all should be well! Will
keep you informed.

Peace out

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16:44

Some Pics

Dunno what order they are in, but there are pictures of monkeys and birds eating my nuts.

 

Nuff said!

 

J

 

Me in safety gear

I look like a doozer! A sexy doozer though!

Sincere apologies

I realise that it has been quite a while since I last posted, but have been pretty damn busy. Firstly, I have quit job at the appartment complex. I am helping a friend with his company for the time being. There are some plusses with this. The obvious one is that I no longer have to worry about menus, rotas, and the suchlike. Downside is that I no longer have a full-time income, and I have to keep doing the infernal visa run to Singapore every four weeks. Have been mooching round shipyards and construction sites quite a bit, and have increased my knowledge of the gas and oil industries by about 400%, which is always good. As ever, have not let the threat of poverty and homelessness stand in the way of having some fun.
Every weekend, Harry and I, and his brood of kids go to the best resort on the island to get drunk and swim. We try to fit in at least one other activity as well. Last time we decided to have a go on their gun range. I spoke to the guy to arrange it, and he disappeared for ten minutes. When he returned, he was carrying two MP5 submachine guns! The poster had said 100 rounds for $10 so I was fucking astounded. I had a severe hangover, and there's a guy in front of me with two guns and two magazines with 9mm rounds clearly showing. What were they thinking? He led Harry, me, and the whole family up to a patch of snake infested wasteground behind the resort proper, and puts up our targets for us. He kept hold of the mags while he was doing this, and left the guns on the range table. I picked one up, and it was heavy as hell. I was beginning to get a little concerned that these really were the real deal, and was aprehensive as we had no ear protection. I tried cocking the fucker, and, thank god, it wouldn't shift. They were replicas after all, and the 9mm rounds I had seen on the magazines slid back, and you filled it up with BB pellets. Still bloody good fun, as they were fully automatic. When you sqeezed, a stream of ball bearings went flying off down the range. Totally immature and a waste of cash and time, but what a laugh!

Have been busy doing other shit too, almost as much fun, but buggered if I can remember it with enough clarity to recount. As it comes back to me, I will post it.

Take care.

Back in Sing

Was up at some completely god-awful time this morning and was on the first ferry of the day off the island. Funnily enough I could still use the internet half way across the journey, but it cut out way before I landed. Also, a complete first, and a total Hallmark Moment. I walked straight off the ferry at the Singapore end and straight through immigration! For all of you who have never been through Singapore, it can sometimes take up to 40 minutes usually to get through immigration, so walking straight through is a fucking rarity. Got straight into a taxi to the office of the bloke I needed to see, and he saw me for all of about fifteen seconds and told me to come back in about six hours. So, being stuck in a ridiculously expensive city, with no money, I went for a wander round. After coming to the conclusion that there is absolutely nothing to do, I decide to find myself a hotel that rents rooms by the hour. Having found an 81 hotel just on the next corner, I go and discreetly enquire as to the ‘by the hour’ situation, as, let’s face it, we all know why you rent rooms by the hour. I explain that I have a meeting later in the day and want a room to have a shower etc, and she looks completely disbelievingly at me, but quotes me a price and asks for my passport. Unfortunately, I have already given my passport to the bloke in the offices opposite and won’t see it again for god knows how many hours. I ended up having to give her my immigration slip and guess at my passport number. Hopefully I won’t go to prison for it, but I needed a shower. It is hot outside, even by normal standards, and I am sweating like a necrophiliac in a morgue. Will add more later when my visa gets declined for whatever reason.

Okay, it wasn’t declined, but took a few more hours than expected. Incidentally, the hotel room itself was only slightly larger than a wardrobe, and if you wanted a shower, you really had to be sat on the toilet to get the full effect, as there wasn’t really the room to stand. So was going to have a mooch around Singapore for a bit, having sorted out the business of the day, but was too tired, hot, sweaty, stinky, and pissed off with the whole place to be really bothered. Decided to hop on the MRT (underground), back to the harbour and book my ticket and then spend some time wandering around the shopping centre there, which is pretty extensive and usually filled with some pretty impressive fanny. As I got to the booking queue, turns out that there was a ferry just about to leave, so hopped on that. There was a bloke from the island in the queue in front of me, which was odd. He’s a UK bloke, and the first time I met him, he was wearing the same crappy T-shirt from ‘Georges’ of Asda as I had just bought before coming over, so took the piss out of his fashion sense. I know that is slightly hypocritical, but I am more than aware that my taste in clothing is abominable, so I don’t count it.

While I was on the MRT, they show videos of tube trains exploding and bits of people left after the various terrorist attacks on trains over the past few years in an attempt to make sure you report any left luggage to the authorities. Fuck that! I was shitting myself. Talk about effective shock tactics.

Anyway, just getting back into Batam waters, so will send this off.

Peace out.