Yet another party

Just a quick one as I am fucking knackered. Had a party today for 100 pax, been at the pool for thirteen hours and have another party tomorrow, so will just post these piccies of my bargirls and the bloody great speaker stacks that the band were using. It was like being at Glasto Festy this afternoon.

Ulcer groundworks

One of my girls went to give me a quick shoulder rub this morning, and I was in fucking agony. When I went back to get changed for the party, I took a quick look at my back in the mirror and I have either fallen off the back of a motorbike, or I have been the victim of assault and massage. Am just about to take a well deserved bath, and get some sleep and hope that the searing pain diminishes.

Damned good fun

Had to give the secretary a lift home this evening, and couldn't find any of the cars, so borrowed a Mitsubishi Lancer from a friend to take her. First decent car I've driven over here. Got a rather juicy 110km/h out of her, which is a pretty incredible achievement over here. I was weaving in and out of the lorries and shit and absolutely loving it. So nice to finally be in a car that actually accelerates when you want it to.
That was certainly a lot better than the start of my day. Hungover as hell, I had to take the bar supervisor and Trevor's wife out clothes shopping. Two and a half hours trying to find a plain T-shirt. Indonesian T-shirts are just ridiculous. The slogans are completely nonsensical. I have attached a piccie, but not sure if you can read it. Things like 'Have most pleasure had pain' and shit like that. Makes no sense whatsoever. Am gonna design my own range of T-shirts aimed at expats with slogans like 'Toe Talk Hunt' and 'Lie K Null?'. Might even export to Uk.
Anyway, gonna go and have a bath.

Scary

It is beginning to worry me that I cannot seem to touch anything electrical in this damned place. The list of things I have taken a shock off is pretty strange. I cannot touch the whole of the storage fridge. The chest freezers are covered in plastic, but the padlock clasps aren't, so I get a shock from that. Cannot touch the microwave, the back of my computer, or the metal casing of the stereo. The weirdest one is the breadmaker, as not only do I get shocked from the bread tin, if I touch the damned dough to check how firm it is, that fucking shocks me too. Is it a sign of getting old.

oh dear

Well, I’m so hungover I could die. Went out for a quick pint last night, staggered in at some god unknown hour having lost my mobile in the pub somewhere with a girl whose name I cannot remember. Oddly enough, my phone turned up this morning, as one of the guys I was drinking with brought it back with him. I didn’t have my camera with me, so no piccies. Sorry. Gonna go and drink some hydrating stuff and try and get back to normal. May have to switch off and reboot for a day or so.

apartment

Although it is still some time away from completion, my apartment is looking better than it did.

Umm, a bit dull

I know I haven’t posted anything for a while, but, to be honest, I haven’t done much that I can report. Admittedly I did go out Tuesday night and get thoroughly demolished, but I have no fucking idea what the hell I actually did. I know I hired a motorcycle taxi for the majority of the evening, and he took me to some places, but aside from that, not a clue. I promise I will write some more when I have stuff to report. Although incidentally, I have just booked my flights and shit, and will be back in UK 12^th March for a fortnight. No drinking in that time, as am determined this time not to be nauseous on the flight.

Hectic Day

Three o’clock this morning I was repeatedly chanting ‘one more beer wont hurt, I can handle the party tomorrow with a hangover’ . I was wrong. Had about 150 people to feed and water arriving at 1pm. The funny thing was that the power grid shut down about 11am, and then the water stopped. Luckily electricity came back on just as people started arriving. Didn’t sort out my hangover though. Been a rough day, but a major laugh by the end of the evening. I am to bed, so I will send more later. Although I did say I would add some piccies of the penguins, so will add them now.

Unbelievable

Yet again I have come across what totally appeared to be, without a thorough medical examination, a dead cockie. It was led on its back, like the last time, bereft of movement, with its legs in the air. So, having decided to ignore it, once more. I went to bed. Having got comfortable, I decided I needed a piss before being able to sleep, at least an hour later. Back to the toilet, and on with the lights, and to my minor surprise, the little bugger was starting to wriggle about. It seems that my room is a local doss house for the neighbourhood cockies, and that they all sleep on their backs. I might even phone David Attenborough. Enough to do your head in. Once more I bravely popped a glass overhim to leave him to the maid in the morning. Watch this space, as it won't surprise me if the fucker somehow escapes.

Funny as hell

Public holiday today for the chinese new year, and the pool has been full of indo kids since 9.30 this morning. Will post some piccies when I get back to computer, but the funniest shit was all the muslim girls swimming with their headdresses still on. They looked like penguins! Plus, you know when you jump in the pool, and your shorts fill up with air like you had farted, their headdresses did the same. They all lookedlike littl head-farting penguins! One of them even put swimming goggles over the top! She looked like one of the sandpeople from star wars! Just wish you could have seen it, as the pictures don't put it across in its entirety. My project is to teach them to swim really quickly out of the side of the pool, and slide along on their stomachs like proper penguins. I've been laughing so hard I had to adjust myself.

First pizza

Bit of a shitty picture of my first giant pizza. The scissors are there to give a bit of scale, but it was about 24 inches, with a two inch thick stuffed crust. It was a monstrous motherfucker which just about fed six people.
Peace out

Some more pics

Me out babysitting again. Quite a  weird night with a couple of Dutch guys and a lot of girls.

Thanks for the warning

Last night before turning in they guys mentioned that they were all buggering off to Singapore for the day, leaving me in charge of about forty construction crew, six security, six bar/restaurant, four security, four lifeguards, plus sundry gardeners, drivers, disposal crew etc. None of which can speak more than word one in English. So far there have been no problems, but that could be because it has been monsoon day today. The heavens fucking opened up, and tried to reclaim the land via a strategic air-drop. It pissed down, make no mistake. So that has reduced the number of things that can go wrong, as the construction guys had to work inside, rather than replacing the roof, and apart from the eight or so indo kids swimming in the torrential rain, it has been mainly quiet. And bar and kitchen staff have been doing the end of month figures, so I have just sat in the bar, and gone for the occasional random drive. The internet I switched off, so can't even do that. Bored and sober, a combination that tends to walk hand in hand along life's highways and byways. Shit I must be bored. Gonna go and drown an indo.