Never drinking again.
Friday, May 30, 2008
Nothing like Fear and Loathing
This week has been tricky. Monday had loads planned, but achieved nothing at all when the driver decided he was too sick. Harry was in Singapore in meetings. The next morning I was doing the driver's job of tending to Harry's beck and call. Luckily, I love driving, so it wasn't too arduous. When the end of the day swung around, I really fancied a beer, so got in, cracked open a bottle and sat on the porch. Now I have been without running water for ages, and I stunk, it was hot, sweaty and generally shit. I decided to go across the road and get a poolside suite at the Harris Resort opposite, as we had a corporate rate there. A bath has never felt so good. After a bath, I ordered a beer and went for a swim. Hit the bar afterwards and totally humiliated myself doing karaoke, then shuffled off to bed, falling over at some point as I now have a huge gash on my knee. The next day I was determined to sort out the water at the house. To do this I had to contact a mutual friend of mine and the landlords. Unfortunately, he is a bit of a pisshead. I turned up at the restaurant he was at, to have a cold beer thrust into my hand. The day went downhill from there. Needless to say I got hammered, and the following day, cursed myself and prayed for death. This was Thursday, and I had eaten nothing since Tuesday morning. I took another room at the Harris, and tried to sleep it off. Now, as I faded in and out of consciousness I kept having this semi-nightmare that I was being attacked by bloody great black lizards. They kept biting my hands, but they didn't really hurt. Really weird as it kept happening every time I dozed off. Anyway, next morning, was out and about working, and had to go back to the house, and fuck me if there wasn't one of these bloody great lizards at the side of the road staring at me. Scared the bijesus out of me. Malicious looking bastard I tried getting a picture of him, but he gave me a scornful look and buggered off.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Not exactly paradise
As I am now living in the new house on the other side of the island, I have had to get some essentials. Have fitted out the kitchen with fridge, microwave, burners, rice cooker, ummm etc. Have set up my media desktop in the master bedroom, and television an DVD player downstairs in the corner. Downstairs is an office of sorts. The house is pretty huge, but only a few rooms Downstairs has one gigantic room, which is doing the job of office, a side room which is generally filled with junk I haven't found a home for yet. At the back is the kitchen, toilet, shower and maids bedroom. Upstairs just the spare bedroom and the master bedroom and ensuite. It is huge. I have had smaller studio flats. Now unfortunately there are some bummers. Have two phone lines, but no internet. Have electricity, most of the time. It tends to be off for three hours in the morning, and when it is on, I have to be careful how many electrical items I have switched on, or the fuse blows. I had a cleaner here the day before yesterday who cleaned the kitchen and did all the washing up etc. Ever since then however, I seem to have no mains water. Even if I did have mains water, the water heater in my ensuite has a leak and therefore pisses water everywhere.
I have been shopping for food, and with no break with tradition, bought nothing fucking useful in the slightest. I haven't eaten this badly since Sussex Lodge! Some of you know exactly what I mean. Yesterday I had rice with ketchup, and this evening I had rice and baked beans. Have no idea where the local shop is, so just been coping. Tomorrow, however, I will get some decent grub. Another issue arises from not being able to wash up, due to the lack of water thing. So far I have been doing my best with tissues! Other downer is that this is a non-smoking house, so have to go and sit on the porch to have a smoke. I would like to think that it is helping me cut down, but sadly it just means that I am sat out on the porch like a fucking hick! Still, shit happens.
I have been shopping for food, and with no break with tradition, bought nothing fucking useful in the slightest. I haven't eaten this badly since Sussex Lodge! Some of you know exactly what I mean. Yesterday I had rice with ketchup, and this evening I had rice and baked beans. Have no idea where the local shop is, so just been coping. Tomorrow, however, I will get some decent grub. Another issue arises from not being able to wash up, due to the lack of water thing. So far I have been doing my best with tissues! Other downer is that this is a non-smoking house, so have to go and sit on the porch to have a smoke. I would like to think that it is helping me cut down, but sadly it just means that I am sat out on the porch like a fucking hick! Still, shit happens.
Laters.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Bored
Cannot sleep because it appears that I have a snoring sheep outside my
window. Wish I could work out what the hell it is. I have told you what it
sounds like, but unless the fluffy bugger has made it onto the roof, it has
to be something a little less ovine. Must be some sort of lizard. They all
make weird noises. When I was in Bondowoso all those years ago, I was warned
to listen out for the 'fuck off' lizard! Of course I had no idea what they
were going on about, until sat on the porch with a beer one evening, you
could clearly hear what sounded like a mechanical voice saying 'fuck off,
fuck off' and that was a tiny little lizarddy fella.
window. Wish I could work out what the hell it is. I have told you what it
sounds like, but unless the fluffy bugger has made it onto the roof, it has
to be something a little less ovine. Must be some sort of lizard. They all
make weird noises. When I was in Bondowoso all those years ago, I was warned
to listen out for the 'fuck off' lizard! Of course I had no idea what they
were going on about, until sat on the porch with a beer one evening, you
could clearly hear what sounded like a mechanical voice saying 'fuck off,
fuck off' and that was a tiny little lizarddy fella.
Funny if a sheep fell through the ceiling while I was typing. I think I
would be too embarassed to type about it, even if it did.
Right I am going to go and make myself a sarnie and try harder to get some
sleep.
Goodnight folks
New house
After a hell of a lot of faffing about and a torrential downpour, I have
moved out of the apartment complex. At this moment I am in a huge house on
the other side of the island. Downside is that it is not exactly the fuckin
ritz. It hasn't been lived in for some time, so it is pretty dirty. Have put
a kitchen in and a couple of water dispensers, and now it is just a case of
getting the place cleaned up. There is a maid's quarters downstairs, so
might have to go and get one of them.
Also, if I haven't mentioned it thus far, despite being about thirty miles
of the line of the equator, I have managed to catch a fucking cold. Now
ain't that about a bitch!
I have some sort of job interview early next week, so everyone keep their
fingers crossed for me. It is basically just a data entry job onsite at a
construction yard, but is worth $200 a day. Not the hugest salary in the
world, but about three times what the restaurant was paying me. All I need
to do is become fluent in gas and oil construction lingo. No problem. I know
my FSO's from my FPSO's and my ITR from my MDR so all should be well! Will
keep you informed.
moved out of the apartment complex. At this moment I am in a huge house on
the other side of the island. Downside is that it is not exactly the fuckin
ritz. It hasn't been lived in for some time, so it is pretty dirty. Have put
a kitchen in and a couple of water dispensers, and now it is just a case of
getting the place cleaned up. There is a maid's quarters downstairs, so
might have to go and get one of them.
Also, if I haven't mentioned it thus far, despite being about thirty miles
of the line of the equator, I have managed to catch a fucking cold. Now
ain't that about a bitch!
I have some sort of job interview early next week, so everyone keep their
fingers crossed for me. It is basically just a data entry job onsite at a
construction yard, but is worth $200 a day. Not the hugest salary in the
world, but about three times what the restaurant was paying me. All I need
to do is become fluent in gas and oil construction lingo. No problem. I know
my FSO's from my FPSO's and my ITR from my MDR so all should be well! Will
keep you informed.
Peace out
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16:44
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Some Pics
Dunno what order they are in, but there are pictures of monkeys and birds eating my nuts.
Nuff said!
J
Sincere apologies
I realise that it has been quite a while since I last posted, but have been pretty damn busy. Firstly, I have quit job at the appartment complex. I am helping a friend with his company for the time being. There are some plusses with this. The obvious one is that I no longer have to worry about menus, rotas, and the suchlike. Downside is that I no longer have a full-time income, and I have to keep doing the infernal visa run to Singapore every four weeks. Have been mooching round shipyards and construction sites quite a bit, and have increased my knowledge of the gas and oil industries by about 400%, which is always good. As ever, have not let the threat of poverty and homelessness stand in the way of having some fun.
Every weekend, Harry and I, and his brood of kids go to the best resort on the island to get drunk and swim. We try to fit in at least one other activity as well. Last time we decided to have a go on their gun range. I spoke to the guy to arrange it, and he disappeared for ten minutes. When he returned, he was carrying two MP5 submachine guns! The poster had said 100 rounds for $10 so I was fucking astounded. I had a severe hangover, and there's a guy in front of me with two guns and two magazines with 9mm rounds clearly showing. What were they thinking? He led Harry, me, and the whole family up to a patch of snake infested wasteground behind the resort proper, and puts up our targets for us. He kept hold of the mags while he was doing this, and left the guns on the range table. I picked one up, and it was heavy as hell. I was beginning to get a little concerned that these really were the real deal, and was aprehensive as we had no ear protection. I tried cocking the fucker, and, thank god, it wouldn't shift. They were replicas after all, and the 9mm rounds I had seen on the magazines slid back, and you filled it up with BB pellets. Still bloody good fun, as they were fully automatic. When you sqeezed, a stream of ball bearings went flying off down the range. Totally immature and a waste of cash and time, but what a laugh!
Every weekend, Harry and I, and his brood of kids go to the best resort on the island to get drunk and swim. We try to fit in at least one other activity as well. Last time we decided to have a go on their gun range. I spoke to the guy to arrange it, and he disappeared for ten minutes. When he returned, he was carrying two MP5 submachine guns! The poster had said 100 rounds for $10 so I was fucking astounded. I had a severe hangover, and there's a guy in front of me with two guns and two magazines with 9mm rounds clearly showing. What were they thinking? He led Harry, me, and the whole family up to a patch of snake infested wasteground behind the resort proper, and puts up our targets for us. He kept hold of the mags while he was doing this, and left the guns on the range table. I picked one up, and it was heavy as hell. I was beginning to get a little concerned that these really were the real deal, and was aprehensive as we had no ear protection. I tried cocking the fucker, and, thank god, it wouldn't shift. They were replicas after all, and the 9mm rounds I had seen on the magazines slid back, and you filled it up with BB pellets. Still bloody good fun, as they were fully automatic. When you sqeezed, a stream of ball bearings went flying off down the range. Totally immature and a waste of cash and time, but what a laugh!
Have been busy doing other shit too, almost as much fun, but buggered if I can remember it with enough clarity to recount. As it comes back to me, I will post it.
Take care.
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