Van interior

the inside if the van is damn near finished, cow-wise. Now all it needs is a load of led lights round the back.

Van interior

the inside if the van is damn near finished, cow-wise. Now all it needs is a load of led lights round the back.

Van interior

the inside if the van is damn near finished, cow-wise. Now all it needs is a load of led lights round the back.

Van interior

the inside if the van is damn near finished, cow-wise. Now all it needs is a load of led lights round the back.

Experimenty.

well nit sure what is gonna happen here. I thought I would be able to add pictures, but patently not.

Before reality shows were born.

Sat watching night cops on sky, while I wait for something decent to
come on, and it occurred to me, how mortifying it would be if they had
as many reality tv cop shows when I was a teen as they do now.
Now, we've all had runins with the bill in our time, and let's face
it, a lot of us don't have a huge amount of recollection about the
incidents in question.
Now personally, when arrested on the isle of Wight, I have only vague
recall of the evening, but the main thing I do remember is sitting in
the back of a police car, telling the coppers to drive faster and put
the lights on, barely sober enough to sit upright. God knows what
happened at Newport nick.
Getting nicked in Cambridge, I can remember getting out of the
handcuffs in the back of the police van, and attempting to handcuff
myself to my friends leg, who had also been pulled, but no more.

I have this morbid fear that when the start running out of clips,
they'll start buying up old custody CCTV footage, and there's gonna be
me so pissed I can't stand, protesting my inalienable right to be
nude, and dribbling out the side of my mouth.

Addendum, just remembered a conversation with a copper in Torquay
called inspector Uugem. It was about 2am and we were carrying a
deckchair. We spent a long time patiently explaining to him that we
were taking the deckchair back to it's friends. Thank god he didn't
have a camera crew with him.

Give this some thought about some of your worse arrests and how proud
your families would be.

Peace

Wembley

That's a piccy of wembley last Sunday. Disappointing game, bit still an excellent day out. We had a bunch utter gobshites sat right behind us, obviously Buccaneers fans, slagging off the Patriots and basically being dicks. Just before the end of the 2nd quarter, they went off early to get some drinks before the rush, and the only decent bit of football from their team in the entire match occurred while they were away and missing it. Eighty quid for the tickets, plus however much it cost them to get there, and they wandered off for the only score their piss-poor team could achieve. That's what you get for annoying me for an hour or so. Lol.

Anyway, I ought to get on and pretend I'm up this early for a good reason. It is mushroom season so maybe mushroom picking is in order.

Peace out

J

P.S. Not sure why this pic is at the top of my previous post, who knows. 

Variety is the spice of life. Or summat.

Firstly the usual apology for posting nothing for months.
To be fair it's not like I've really done anything. To recap the last
twelve months: came back to uk, have been generally unwell since I
have been here, started a company, sold a company, got myself in a
world of debt. Bought another van, which is currently on sale if
anyone is interested. I think that covers it really.
I suppose there have been lots of mini news throughout the last year.
I have injured my genitals more in the preceding 52 weeks than over
the course of the entirety of my previous life, including cuts,
maulings, and a fairly painful chemical burn.
Due to the fact that I'm pretty sure that nobody even reads this any
more, I'm not entirely sure why I am even posting. Maybe because it's
5 am I can't sleep and there's only so much porn you can watch.
Soooo, ummmm, what to talk about.

Have decided to start writing a novel. No idea what it will be about,
but with a title like 'Wanking and Popcorn, For a Better Life
Experience' it's gonna practically write itself.

Seeing as every fucker and their aunt are currently trying to get
money out of me, quite unjustly, in my opinion, considering I lied
about my income when I applied for credit from them, I might just fuel
up Monty the Masculine Man-Wagon (the larger of the campervans) and
become a travelling ..... Summat or other. It's all a bit hazy at the
moment, but I'm sure I pointed out it's only 5am.

It's about time.

My usual apologies for not having posted for ages yadayada.
An actual sunny day in the uk. Who would have thought it could happen. Sat in the garden with the one beer that jon obviously couldn't find getting some sun to my bones. Have decided that it's high time I tidied the garden up. Got some excellent hardcore rockin my eardrums and it doesn't get much better than this. Unless I had my projector back from indo so I could watch tv against the back wall of the house. Can't go out for more beer, as I somehow managed to poke myself on the eye, and it has kinda filled with blood a bit.
Bugger this iPhone. The battery is about to die on me. Still, as long as I get this post sent, then I might attempt a little gardening.

Peace out dudes

Too sick to fuck

I am, of course, well aware that even by my usual standards of long gaps between blogs, this last one is a doozy.
Have no idea what my last post was about, so will try to guess what I was up to last time.
After the whole ambulance and hospital thing, I unfortunately have been stuck in the UK. Having now had about twenty blood tests, the results of which cover about three or four A4 pages of results, all of which are normal Nobody is any wiser as to what is actually wrong with me. Have had one ultrasound where they found summat growing on my liver, so I will have another one around my birthday to check up on it and have to book in for an endoscopy in a couple of weeks time, which promises to be not much of a laugh. Have run out of money and put myself about ten grand in debt, and have no income whatsoever, so things are beginning to get a little troublesome.
On that note, unsurprisingly, have not done anything exciting in the slightest. Spent a lot of time being sick, and the rest sleeping. All kinds sucks, but I still have my unwavering belief that summat will crop up! Not sure how or what, but hope strings infernal, or summat. Anyway, will try and keep a bit more Up to date, seeing as I have a little time on my hands.

Laters

Peace out.