Before reality shows were born.

Sat watching night cops on sky, while I wait for something decent to
come on, and it occurred to me, how mortifying it would be if they had
as many reality tv cop shows when I was a teen as they do now.
Now, we've all had runins with the bill in our time, and let's face
it, a lot of us don't have a huge amount of recollection about the
incidents in question.
Now personally, when arrested on the isle of Wight, I have only vague
recall of the evening, but the main thing I do remember is sitting in
the back of a police car, telling the coppers to drive faster and put
the lights on, barely sober enough to sit upright. God knows what
happened at Newport nick.
Getting nicked in Cambridge, I can remember getting out of the
handcuffs in the back of the police van, and attempting to handcuff
myself to my friends leg, who had also been pulled, but no more.

I have this morbid fear that when the start running out of clips,
they'll start buying up old custody CCTV footage, and there's gonna be
me so pissed I can't stand, protesting my inalienable right to be
nude, and dribbling out the side of my mouth.

Addendum, just remembered a conversation with a copper in Torquay
called inspector Uugem. It was about 2am and we were carrying a
deckchair. We spent a long time patiently explaining to him that we
were taking the deckchair back to it's friends. Thank god he didn't
have a camera crew with him.

Give this some thought about some of your worse arrests and how proud
your families would be.

Peace