It's about time.

My usual apologies for not having posted for ages yadayada.
An actual sunny day in the uk. Who would have thought it could happen. Sat in the garden with the one beer that jon obviously couldn't find getting some sun to my bones. Have decided that it's high time I tidied the garden up. Got some excellent hardcore rockin my eardrums and it doesn't get much better than this. Unless I had my projector back from indo so I could watch tv against the back wall of the house. Can't go out for more beer, as I somehow managed to poke myself on the eye, and it has kinda filled with blood a bit.
Bugger this iPhone. The battery is about to die on me. Still, as long as I get this post sent, then I might attempt a little gardening.

Peace out dudes

Too sick to fuck

I am, of course, well aware that even by my usual standards of long gaps between blogs, this last one is a doozy.
Have no idea what my last post was about, so will try to guess what I was up to last time.
After the whole ambulance and hospital thing, I unfortunately have been stuck in the UK. Having now had about twenty blood tests, the results of which cover about three or four A4 pages of results, all of which are normal Nobody is any wiser as to what is actually wrong with me. Have had one ultrasound where they found summat growing on my liver, so I will have another one around my birthday to check up on it and have to book in for an endoscopy in a couple of weeks time, which promises to be not much of a laugh. Have run out of money and put myself about ten grand in debt, and have no income whatsoever, so things are beginning to get a little troublesome.
On that note, unsurprisingly, have not done anything exciting in the slightest. Spent a lot of time being sick, and the rest sleeping. All kinds sucks, but I still have my unwavering belief that summat will crop up! Not sure how or what, but hope strings infernal, or summat. Anyway, will try and keep a bit more Up to date, seeing as I have a little time on my hands.

Laters

Peace out.

New kitties

Mummy puss and the two newbies. Haven't got names for them yet so any
suggestions gratefully received.

Pain in the arm

Will try and give you the short version. Had heart palpitating type thing going on so called ambulance. Spent the evenin in Southampton General Hospital to be told that they have no idea what caused it, but not to worry! Anyway, woke up this morning and this was the mess my arm was in.
More later when I feel a little more enthusiastic.

shifting cactus

Had to move my cactus from my ex-house in the centre, to storage until I have new place to live. It was about 25km in the pissing rain. I will just leave you with the film, as it sort of shows all.

Food fiasco

I realise that these entries are not in any particular order, I still haven't posted about how I turned a barman gay! Anyway, back to the point. Yesterday was desperately hungry, but could not decide what I wanted. Finally plumped for sausage and mash. Went back to my suite to wait for it, and after half an hour, it still hadn't arrived, so I needed something from reception so went to wander down there. Got to the lift, and it isn't moving from ground floor. A french guy I drink with comes up the stairs, so I ask him if there is a problem with the lift. He says it should be fixed now, a waiter was getting into the lift and the doors closed on him, throwing the tray all over the deck. Just then the lift doors open, and we were greeted by the delicious smell of onion gravy, normally associated with sausage and mash. Sure enough, my fucking meal has been elevatored. Descending to the lobby, mouth a-watering, I wondered how much longer it was gonna take. I strode through to the restaurant just in time to see my food being brought out of the kitchen. Delirious with hunger, and gratitude, we returned to the suite, where I scoffed in no uncertain terms.

Later that day, I bumped into the French bloke, who informed me, that when they were cleaning up the mess, they were chucking the food back onto my plate. So, not only did the little fuckers feed me lift floor food, but they charged me 15 fucking dollars for the privelege. Pissed off!

P.S. Since Barney left, weather has been great. Ain't that about a bitch!

A bit of catch-up

Not too sure where to start, so will attempt some form of logical order.
Ok, couldn't think of any logical way of doing it, so will just crack on regardless. Firstly, Barney has been over for a visit. I made the schlep over to Singapore to meet him from the airport, and I hired us a limo to have a mooch around the city. The driver was nice enough and was a good tour guide, although it would have been nice if he had occasionally paused to take a breath. I bet he would be a wicked didge player. Got ourselves onto the ferry, for the magical hour long crossing to Batam. About halfway across it started pissing down, so we sat under cover, while the locals asked Barney if he was David Beckham and got their photos taken with him.
We arrived in Batam, blagged our way through Immigration, hopped into the car and headed straight for the hotel. Ten minutes into the journey, Barney went to get something from his bag, when we remember that it is still at the ferry terminal with the porters there. Had to race back down to the ferry, bribe the porter chappy and try again.
We got to hotel and got Barney settled in to my lounge room and partook of a quick beer or two and some grub, we headed off to a local joint opposite the hotel, which was really nothing more than a shed, some plastic furniture, and some pretty al fresco toilet arrangements. After an undisclosed amount of beers and Barney falling off his chair, we adjourned to a pleasant seedy collection of bars on the seafront. Being about 2am by now on a Monday night, they were closed, but a load of the staff were sat outside a shop having a beer. As a couple of them recognised me, they called us over, and we had a beer with them. After half a bottle, they decided to open up the bar for us. We sat by the sea getting quietly mashed, while all the staff decide to go swimming. In the middle of the night. On a rocky beach well known for its cobra infestation. In a sea you could fry chips in. Barney and I did not join in. Bit of a grey area, memory-wise, but ended up back at hotel with a bundle more beers.

New Cactus

One of these is one of the pictures of me trying to get my new cactus back to my house in Puri Legenda. I was originally just gonna put it in the car, but when I went to pick it up, it was a shit load bigger than I remembered it as being. So they had to deliver it. It was balanced on the back of a flat bed, with a guy holding on to it as we motored from the nursery place to my house. Fucking amusing sight plodding down the road followed by a gigantic cactus on a truck!

One of the others is of Sri, an admin from where I worked, who helped me find a good reputable cactus purveyor, and translated if I was unable to fully understand the sales guy. She is 7 feet tall, but even she looks like a midget compared to Kate the cactus.

And of course, yours truly. What an enormous bit of kit. You really have to be there to realise how damn big the thing is. They had another huge plant there, that makes this thing look dwarf. It was really odd looking and had a bit of a smell to it, and was loads of money. So I asked the guy more about it, and the reason it was so expensive was that it protected your house from magic! So if you want to fuck the arse off of Hermione Granger, this is not the plant for you.

Map of Batam

I live at the far east of Batam Centre and I work in Tanjung Uncang. It is quite a haul to travel every day!

Quick bit of weirdity

I had taken a nap after work to dispose of a headache, and when I got up to make some food, I sat down to a bit of telly, I noticed my drink glass.

 

He is still sat there even now I have photographed him and am writing about him.