Film of the decade

If you ever get the opportunity to see Epic Movie, a smattering of arse gravy in a parodic style of quite a lot of recent films. Totally brainless and shite but entertaining in its own way. Some gratuitous nudity helped it along. Now one of the films it repeatedly has a pop at was The Da Vinci Code, which it pulled off to great effect. Now having sat through the genuine da vinci code, I realise that the pisstake version, written by two fart-joking, stoned african americans, with the combined intelligence of tree bark in the special class, is at least fifteen times as intellectually put together and thought out as that utter fucking pap that they managed to crimp off for the real film. I didn't even manage to spot which bit they filmed outside my mothers house until 1am. Stopping people from overlooking the set in case the actors had to make eye contact with real people , the totally vain jumped-up cunts, so far in the fucking clouds that they couldn't touch the ground with a rope. Anyone who had anything to do with that shite-awful sack of genital sores should do the honourable thing and alter time so that they drowned in boiling dirty chip oil as a baby. It's not that I didn't enjoy the film; I didn't. It's more the fact that they all made a shitload of money for something that an toddler could have left in a potty. Right, I might as well stop ranting as I am now beginning to run out of metaphors and adjectives, but believe me I could go on for hours about those talentless overpaid arse tampons and that rectal polyp of a so-called film.

Stay tuned next week as I review Pearl Harbour. Lol

Peace out.