Lovely woman with a great sense of humour, and a real barrel of guffaws. She had such a winning smile as she led me off the premises and popped me in the back of the car. Thirteen years have passed me by, but I feel I have learnt so much, and a lot of it was all down to the people I met during the incident and the following six months when I was in and out of first magistrates court then crown court. I ought to mention a few of them, but I am a little hazy on the names and I guess they deserve some privacy. There was of course the victim, who was, unfortunately , naked hairy and fat the first time I met him, which was three in the morning in his bathroom. Coincidentally, this was the place I was arrested too. The second time I met the fellow, he was just as fat, but mercifully clothed, as he throttled me into semi-unconciousness in the local Safeways. At this point special mention should be made of the desk copper who told me it was my own fault for getting attacked despite the fact that I was already paying the price for my crime. Wanker!
The desk sergeant who bailed me despite being of no fixed abode, top bloke. Quick shout out for my mother who generously told said sergeant that she wouldn't vouch for me.
The final person needing a mention, or rather people needing a mention, would be my legal team. The legal secretary used to bump into me all the time whenever I was taking some form of narcotic, which always made our interactions interesting to say the least. But my solicitor and barrister were the real geezers. For those who don't know and are probably looking forward to this little revelation, I was caught having just broken into a bathroom window on the first floor, having made it across a twenty foot gass roof, at three o'clock in the morning, disturbing the owners and got myself arrested in said bathroom, and after all that time in court, my legal lot got me aquitted and all my travel expenses refunded.
All of this thirteen years ago to the day, and I've certainly passed a lot of water since then. At some point maybe I will transcribe the statements on post them somewhere, but in the meantime, I'm glad I had that little warning, which scared me enough to straighten my life out a little, not a lot, but a little.
Incidentally a real quick mention of the fact that WPC 141 Connors tried whacking me with a drug arrest when she found that I had vitamin C tablets and indigestion tablets on me. When she held up a my little bag of Cream of Magnesia tablets and asked me what would happen to her if she took all of them at once, I toldher that she would shit for a week, and she dropped the subject. Good drug prevention!
Peace out dudes.=
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