Van interior

the inside if the van is damn near finished, cow-wise. Now all it needs is a load of led lights round the back.

Van interior

the inside if the van is damn near finished, cow-wise. Now all it needs is a load of led lights round the back.

Van interior

the inside if the van is damn near finished, cow-wise. Now all it needs is a load of led lights round the back.

Van interior

the inside if the van is damn near finished, cow-wise. Now all it needs is a load of led lights round the back.

Experimenty.

well nit sure what is gonna happen here. I thought I would be able to add pictures, but patently not.

Before reality shows were born.

Sat watching night cops on sky, while I wait for something decent to
come on, and it occurred to me, how mortifying it would be if they had
as many reality tv cop shows when I was a teen as they do now.
Now, we've all had runins with the bill in our time, and let's face
it, a lot of us don't have a huge amount of recollection about the
incidents in question.
Now personally, when arrested on the isle of Wight, I have only vague
recall of the evening, but the main thing I do remember is sitting in
the back of a police car, telling the coppers to drive faster and put
the lights on, barely sober enough to sit upright. God knows what
happened at Newport nick.
Getting nicked in Cambridge, I can remember getting out of the
handcuffs in the back of the police van, and attempting to handcuff
myself to my friends leg, who had also been pulled, but no more.

I have this morbid fear that when the start running out of clips,
they'll start buying up old custody CCTV footage, and there's gonna be
me so pissed I can't stand, protesting my inalienable right to be
nude, and dribbling out the side of my mouth.

Addendum, just remembered a conversation with a copper in Torquay
called inspector Uugem. It was about 2am and we were carrying a
deckchair. We spent a long time patiently explaining to him that we
were taking the deckchair back to it's friends. Thank god he didn't
have a camera crew with him.

Give this some thought about some of your worse arrests and how proud
your families would be.

Peace

Wembley

That's a piccy of wembley last Sunday. Disappointing game, bit still an excellent day out. We had a bunch utter gobshites sat right behind us, obviously Buccaneers fans, slagging off the Patriots and basically being dicks. Just before the end of the 2nd quarter, they went off early to get some drinks before the rush, and the only decent bit of football from their team in the entire match occurred while they were away and missing it. Eighty quid for the tickets, plus however much it cost them to get there, and they wandered off for the only score their piss-poor team could achieve. That's what you get for annoying me for an hour or so. Lol.

Anyway, I ought to get on and pretend I'm up this early for a good reason. It is mushroom season so maybe mushroom picking is in order.

Peace out

J

P.S. Not sure why this pic is at the top of my previous post, who knows. 

Variety is the spice of life. Or summat.

Firstly the usual apology for posting nothing for months.
To be fair it's not like I've really done anything. To recap the last
twelve months: came back to uk, have been generally unwell since I
have been here, started a company, sold a company, got myself in a
world of debt. Bought another van, which is currently on sale if
anyone is interested. I think that covers it really.
I suppose there have been lots of mini news throughout the last year.
I have injured my genitals more in the preceding 52 weeks than over
the course of the entirety of my previous life, including cuts,
maulings, and a fairly painful chemical burn.
Due to the fact that I'm pretty sure that nobody even reads this any
more, I'm not entirely sure why I am even posting. Maybe because it's
5 am I can't sleep and there's only so much porn you can watch.
Soooo, ummmm, what to talk about.

Have decided to start writing a novel. No idea what it will be about,
but with a title like 'Wanking and Popcorn, For a Better Life
Experience' it's gonna practically write itself.

Seeing as every fucker and their aunt are currently trying to get
money out of me, quite unjustly, in my opinion, considering I lied
about my income when I applied for credit from them, I might just fuel
up Monty the Masculine Man-Wagon (the larger of the campervans) and
become a travelling ..... Summat or other. It's all a bit hazy at the
moment, but I'm sure I pointed out it's only 5am.