A man goes to the pet shop one day and see's a centipede on offer with a sign above it that says "TALKING CENTIPEDE: £1000". This being an irresistible temptation to him, he stumps up the cash and buys it.
Taking it home he puts it on the table in the box, a few minutes later he decides to test the centipede by saying "... ermm.. you alright mate?, do you wanna go for a pint?" ..... nothing.
Putting it down to nerves he gives it another 10 minutes, goes back to the box and says slightly louder "... You alright mate, fancy going for a pint?"..... again nothing.
Slightly worried now that he's wasted £1000, he leaves it another 10 minutes or so, and returns to the box one final time this time clearing his throat almost to a shout "... You alright mate do you wanna go for a pint!?"
at which the centipede replies : "I heard you the first time, I'm trying to put on my shoes!"
Made me laugh :)
Peace out.
